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Tuesday, July 8th, 2008
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2:50 pm - Women bishops
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So, not only have the Church of England agreed to women bishops (which they had before); the provisions made for conservatives who oppose will be via a code of practice, NOT written into the law. This means women bishops will have equal status to men under the law. There will be no erroneously dubbed "super-bishops" to cater to those who are unhappy with their dioesan bishop, because she's a woman or he has supported or ordained women. (though I don't this affects the current "flying bishops" for those opposed to their bishop having ordained women priests).
Separate diocese for those not wanting women bishops (splitting the Church) have also been rejected.
All in all a good outcome at Synod. Happy days for Christian feminists.
current mood:  pleased
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Monday, June 16th, 2008
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1:58 pm - Gay marriage
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I don't know whether to be joyous because there's finally been an official blessing of a gay marriage in an Anglican Church - in my diocese no less - or angry and upset at the reaction of the bishop and Church in general. I already knew about the service, so today it's mostly the anger I'm feeling. If the rector of St Bartholomew's really is defrocked for carrying out the ceremony there's going to be some sort of protest. And I'm going to be there.
Meanwhile, as suggested by Sophie, I'm going to email my support to Martin Dudley: rector@greatstbarts.com
current mood:  angry
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(18 comments | comment on this)
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| Friday, May 16th, 2008
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4:44 pm
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Why can't my staff all get along. I've had three formal compaints in the past two days, each from a member of staff about another. I don't want to be running this department at all. Grr. Plans for escape are ready to put ino action.... Now I've got a couple of stable points in my life, am happier in other areas, it's a good time to leave.
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| Monday, April 21st, 2008
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2:15 am - pen name
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As a follow up question to my one about copyright: Does the same apply with pen names? Can you just use a pen name? You don't have to register it anywhere do you? I'm assuming not, since a change of name can be effected without any official prceedure, but y'know: worry worry worry. Or do you need to copyright it under your real name?
I was considering a long debate about whether I should use a pen name for my novel or not, but in the past week seem to be using it for various short story submissions into competitions. Sometimes your subconscious knows what it's doing. I hope.
current mood:  busy
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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| Tuesday, April 15th, 2008
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11:23 pm - Copyright and other things
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Does anyone know anything about copyright for books? If I'm going to start handing out sections of manuscript to publishers etc, should I be doing something first? I haven't a clue.
Day at work was dreadful, involving both being told off and having to tell a member of staff off, and extend their probation period rather than passing them. Still, the morning was brightened by an amusing comment whilst walking through the park on my way to work:
Small child: "Mummy, Mummy, she has pretty things on her eyes." (pointing at me)
Mother: "Yes, that's called make-up"
Green and silver eyeshadow rocks, especially when you look and feel deathly. I was also reminded of similar conversations with my mother when I was very tiny, except, this being the late eighties, it was mostly scarlet-painted pointy fingernails and matching lipstick I noticed. I remember thinking how when I was older I would be like those glamourous grown up women. I win.
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| Sunday, April 13th, 2008
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12:24 pm - Theatre hires
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The building is full of stage school teenagers singing to Andrew Lloyd Webber and doing contemporary dance. Woe.
current mood: amused
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| Friday, April 11th, 2008
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3:49 pm - My computer went to Cambridge
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I type "across the road, over Magdalen Bridge and into college"
Microsoft Word: "Do you mean Magdalene?"
No. No I don't.
current mood: petty
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| Sunday, April 6th, 2008
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1:51 am - TV - proof of my inabilty to watch, far less follow a series, no matter how inclined I am to like it
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Bold the ones you've seen ALL of, italic the ones you've seen SOME of... Leave the ones you've never seen. 50. Quantum Leap 49. Prison Break 48. Veronica Mars 47. Star Trek: Deep Space Nine 46. Sex & The City 45. Farscape 44. Cracker
43. Star Trek 42. Only Fools and Horses 41. Band of Brothers 40. Life on Mars 39. Monty Python's Flying Circus 38. Curb Your Enthusiasm 37. Star Trek: The Next Generation 36. Father Ted 35. Alias 34. Frasier 33. CSI: Las Vegas 32. Babylon 5 31. Deadwood 30. Dexter 29. ER 28. Fawlty Towers 27. Six Feet Under 26. Red Dwarf 25. Futurama 24. Twin Peaks 23. The Office UK 22. The Shield 21. Angel 20. Blackadder 19. Scrubs 18. Arrested Development 17. South Park 16. Doctor Who (new version) 15. Heroes 14. Firefly 13. Battlestar Galactica (new) 12. Family Guy 11. Seinfeld 10. Spaced 09. The X-Files 08. The Wire 07. Friends 06. 24 05. Lost 04. The West Wing 03. The Sopranos 02. Buffy the Vampire Slayer 01. The Simpsons.
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| Saturday, April 5th, 2008
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12:10 am - science fiction, double feature
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I've been spending a lot of time in cinemas this week. I saw Les Biches, a good but very depressing French film about a menage a trois, at the BFI. It all ended very badly - let that be a lesson. Then I was dragged into mainstream cinema to see possibly the worst romcom ever. Which sent me running back to the BFI LGB festival (too many initials...) tonight to see Waterlilies - lots and lots of teenage unrequited love. It was beautiful. And also searingly painful in its accuracy. That takes me back...well, not very far really. It's on general relase I think so I may have to see it again, but not when I want to feel cheery.
ALES performance tomorrow. Yey! but also Eek! It'll give my corset a wearing anyway.
current mood:  melancholy
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| Wednesday, March 19th, 2008
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5:28 pm - theatreland fun
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In a meeting at work today:
"So the dragon will be arriving at stage door at 11.30"
Some days I love my job
current mood: busy
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| Sunday, March 2nd, 2008
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8:35 pm - Birthday and ball
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Well that was fun boys and girls. Cunningly I managed to arrange my birthday to coincide with the cules 50th anniversary ball. This meant before I even got as far as the ball I had a morning of present opening and a rainbow iced birthday cake, made by the ever-fantastic scribeofnisaba.
The ball was lovely though it was possibly the only time I've been entirely sober among anything like that many light entertainers. I don't like myself sober - I'm much more bland, what Toni would call "porridge." I become myself age 13-16. Not that I didn't enjoy the ball - just I feel I was rather more subdued than normal. I also discovered that the predictable black moments I always thought were alcohol induced - the one point mid-way though the evening when I want to cry with loneliness-despite-the-crowd - and then get over - and the morning after feeling of doom, happen anyway in sobriety and are obviously just part of the emotional rhythm of a big night. In general a conclusion of lent sobriety is that no, it is not alcohol that makes me depressed.
However, despite my tired and subdued mood, it was still a good ball, with ceilidh-of-joy. I saw lots of people I haven't for a bit, including antoniabaker - yey! The dress got lots of attention, as did the twin dragons. Apparently I look like "a sequinny snake". Today at brunch I also noticed the teapot bag I got for Hannah is still attracting admiring attention.
Talking of cool presents, I came away with several myself, including doll-umbrella (to make rainy days joyous) v nice whisky (for when I can drink again) and a beautiful glass (ditto) which is going to rival my current favourite for pride of place. The are also many pretty things from Malachat to help Lucrezia in her magic writings, including a seal ring with wax. I have yet to see if when exposed to daylight it starts to burn...
Now I am back home alone :( I have just put an advert on t'internet to sell my car.
In summary:
1) Sobriety is rot. Drink is the thing.
2) Hannah rocks and is made of win for many reasons
3) Toni is in England for a bit- hurrah and hurray
[Bad username: ]
current mood: lonely
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| Friday, February 22nd, 2008
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11:34 pm - I have this craving...
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I need to dance! I had a free evening tonight after a week of mostly my own company (writing). I wanted to go dancing but realised that whilst there are people I arrange to go to see theatre or musicals or films with, or have coffee or wine or food with I don't have people I go clubbing with. This must be remedied. I'm sure my flatmates would oblige, but one of them only likes R&B and hip-hop. The other I've occasionally gone out with, but there's only so much of G.A.Y. I can take.
Anyone in London either go to clubs a lot, or would like to go more often. Not any particular night - just in general? Rock, indie or classic goth prefered, though I'm also happy with cheesy pop, electro pop and any kind of retro 70s/80s/90s stuff. Absolutely no R&B or garage.
Tonight I had to go to the cinema instead. Actually I really liked the film (The Edge of Heaven). But that's not the point :p Dance with me.
current mood:  awake
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1:06 am - Isn't it ironic? No, not really, just annoyingly bad timing.
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So today I got a call from quite a big name London fringe venue very very keen to give the show I'm nominally producing a slot, and prepared to give it at a greatly discounted hire charge which would actually be within the budget (not that we have the money yet, but within our hypothetical budget). This should be great news but...
1) I hugely doubt the show would be ready in time. Different cast members have different commitments which proved a big enough problem in rehearsing and staging the preview performance. There's also bad feeling because one person (other than me) ended up doing most of the work last time; she doesn't want to repeat the experience so won't take the lead this time and nobody else is doing anything because they never do.
2) The slot on offer is in May. See my oprevious post for why this is very bad. Certainly I couldn't SM the run in May.
3) I'd decided to not put all my energy into this but work on the book, hadn't I? That's my priority. And it's been going ok. If it was just helping organise certain things I could maybe manage it, but as point 1 implies, I would have to be a major driving force behind it for anything to happen. And I'm not meant to be - I was brought in to help them organise themselves a bit, but it's meant to be a collective. Organisation hasn't worked very well because no one does the tasks they say they will, or they do so very very slowly. I am not prepared or able to do it all, or even half of it at this time.
I don't really need this to happen right now. But - it's such a good opportunity that letting it slip by is painful. I'm going to regret the loss of the different opportunites/perspective it might give me on where my own career is going, the loss of a showcase for my cast, and perhaps most of all the wasted opportunity for the writer when the script is what the theatre liked and it's the company which can't deliver. Guilt guilt guilt.
current mood:  stressed
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| Tuesday, February 12th, 2008
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12:04 am - work concerns
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I interviewed 16 people today. I'm tired and upset by the fact that we have to turn down some internal candidtates who are going to feel pretty dejected. Hot beverages and good company have improved my mood rather, but the thing that is stressing me the most is still a conversation held in a short gap between interviews. Let me backtrack:
I want to leave my job, have done for a couple of months. Firstly, I need more time to write. Ideally I'd like a part time job, perhaps 30 hours. Secondly the job has got more stressful - not the kind of show related, dealing with difficult customers, managing a busy theatre, dealing with inexperienced company's stress which I rather enjoy. Instead the problems relate to the bits of the job I find less interesting, on which I'm now having to spend a lot more time to try and fix them, and thus less time duty managing, which I love. For this reason, if a part time job doesn't present itself I'd be better with a different full time job - one I found more interesting and which was 40 hours without lots of overtime, and without my having to spend so much time worrying about it when not at work, thus still allowing me more time to write. Thirdly, I don't want my manager's job or equivelent at another theatre. Since I wouldn't want promotion within this field, rather than stagnate perhaps I should move sideways, within theatre, to a different area. Or I could accept that as writing is my priority, a theatre job is simply a job I quite enjoy to keep me going (both financially and in terms of working with people, so I don't descend into the depressive madness which would result if all my working hours were spent writing alone) and go for a job which is a demotion - and made up of the bits I like best from my current job, ie duty managing.
I spoke to my manager last week explaining I would be looking to leave sonetime within the next 6 months, possibly earlier, citing the first of these reasons. I have an 8 weeks notice period but it only seemed fair to tell her before applying for jobs, which I want to start doing. She was disappointed yet accepting - but mentionned (which I hadn't known) that she had just arranged to attend a theatre conference in Australia in May, meaning she'd be away for 4 weeks. Meaning it wouldn't be convenient for me to leave before then.
A discussion today about how the department should run whilst she's away made it clear that she's assuming I'll still be here - that it won't work if I'm not. And that I'll be covering her job for that time. Let me repeat that I don't ever want her job, that the bits of my job I like the absolute least are the bits of hers I share. At a time I was hoping to have left, I'll be doing her job. There's not much I can do - I can see that if she's away for such a long period with someone new in charge, the department won't hold togther - particularly given all the current problems. I love the company, and they've been good to me, and it's not the Unicorn, as a company, that I'm unhappy with in my job. But a little selfish part of me is thinking 'shouldn't 8 weeks notice mean 8 weeks?' It's rather a long notice period already.
current mood: stressed
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| Sunday, February 10th, 2008
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11:36 pm - notes on Persephone
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I've been thinking more about what to do about the book:
I've asked this question to a couple of people already who know what they're talking about already and am half-decided, but it's always worth getting opinions: I'm trying to decide at what point I should start hunting out publishers/agents. Firstly, should I just try and get an agent, or is it worth going to publishers myself at the same time as trying for an agent?
I have one section, consisting of four chapters, plus a detailed plan for the rest of the book. Should I start submitting this now? Or should I wait until I've written the next two sections - thus introducing the three strands/main characters on which the book focuses. The first section does begin to show some of what I'm trying to do stylistically, but it's not until the third section that this becomes much more clear. I've been told (by both advisers) that three chapters and a plan / treatment are standard, and I guess the three sections would essentially be that, just with some sub-divisions.
Or, for a first novel, should I really get the whole thing written before I try and get it published? How do I go about getting it published anyway? Advice please.
current mood:  thoughtful
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| Monday, February 4th, 2008
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3:28 pm - pop the champagne
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Ta da! The first section of my book is finally complete, checked, polished, typed. Of course there is lot to be written still before it's a whole book, but this chunk makes me feel as though it's actually a reality now. Its going to happen. The rest is planned in great depth and just waiting to be written from my treatment and notes as I did this section. Now I'm this far, I should hopefully be able to write faster - it's this damn job with it's unexpected extra hours which keeps getting in the way.
Still, shininess and joy. Now I just need someone to drink bubbly with in celebration with as my evening plans (to see Hairspray)have been cancelled.
current mood:  artistic
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| Sunday, February 3rd, 2008
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1:43 pm
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I finally managed to get myself up on time on a Sunday to get myself to Barbican by 10am - so I tried the new Church I had on recomendation. The service was fine - the right level of high church for me. What gave me the feeling that I'd found the right place was the welcome I got afterwards. It was actually the rector rather than the church that was recommended and she was as incredibly friendly and easy to talk to as promised. Everyone else I spoke to was nice too. I felt as if, once I've been a few more times I might be able to be myself with these people, which I've not felt before - except for at the Unitarian Church. What I need are people I can actually talk about my beliefs with.
Also, the sermons in the coming weeks are all about God at work in the arts, music and the theatre. It's quite a theatrical/artistic minded ministery/congragation I think, which isn't very surprising since the parish included the Barbican. Perfect - suits my neoplatonist ideas about art perfectly. Plus, arty, liberal Anglicans are likely to be gay-friendly, right?
Got a call when I was at London Bridge, on my way home, but changing trains. Mess up at stage door meant they were short of a stage door keeper today, so instead of getting on with the book as planned, I'm unexpectedly at work, covering it........Damnit, if I'd known I could have brought some writing to edit, as stage door is pretty quiet on a Sunday. Ah well....playing on the net it is, as I'm really not inclined to do any admin work on a day I wasn't meant to be in....:)
current mood: chirpy
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12:38 am
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Interesting few days: Thurday was the culmination of something from long ago, but not so far away....Certainly, the experience cheered me up. GWTW quote: "...you need kissing badly. That's the trouble with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how."
Friday meant ceilidh. I had a great night, as ever. For the first time I did Cumberland Square eight as a man. This is the one with the basketing. It's not as hard as I thought it would be - though I did have two fairly small and light girls to lift. Regardless I shall celebrate my strength.
Today meant retro bowling and dinner, then karioke, then dancing. Lots of ridiculous cheesy dancing, which I've missed. Hurrah!
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| Sunday, January 27th, 2008
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1:23 am
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Damnit. Not bon. It hurts and huts and hurts. Like a painful, ever painful thing.
Life, that is, Mostly my fault.
I'm dealing, playing, folding rather than putting cards on the table again.
Edit: I'm ok. Just one of my moments - the journal equivelent of flinging yourself on the bed and sobbing it out for a few minutes. Then you dry your eyes and carry on, forget the dream that made you weep when you woke. Daylight.
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| Saturday, January 26th, 2008
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12:54 am - Intensity
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Today was something of an emotional tornado:
Woke up hating myself (as ususal). The hours demanded of the day meant I could sleep a little though, and then put myself together.
I went to work on my day off to sort things out and came away surprisingly calm. Concerns were resolved and panic will not ensue. Extra ends were tied.
Then I met Hannah in the British Library; a conversation evocative on multiple levels. I bounce happily at the delights of myths and symbols. Comparative mythology=squee. My intellectual (emotional) self is inflamed. Longings for academia are strengthened, but I also remember the advantages in writing fiction - my research is exclusively on what I want it to be. In my degree there were only periods of that. Now I decide what is relevent. My emotional (intellectual) self is inflamed. The colours of the air, of the water, are red, are white, eventually are silver. I am heavy with colour.
Then I went to a rehearsed reading, which an actor friend was in. Heavy with emotion: A war time setting; a love triangle; a forced coming of age; Stockholm syndrome; the lines (or not) between our identities and our politics, our identities and the circumstances of birth or experience; betrayal; death; power and love. I watch and am tossed, discuss and comment in depth, analyse. There is still a strong sense of having snuck into this world of dark studio spaces and raw new writing (or, alternatively prestigeous events). I am not an actor, or director, or even as yet a writer until I am published. That I work in the industry opens these doors or connections - but I don't work creatively in the industry. I feel like I've been let in by fraud or mistake upon these artistic brainstormings. And yet it's what I do anyway, naturally, compulsively. I belong but should not be allowed to belong. It's the same as my academic passion - head and heart are there, but the reality is not.
Winterson quote today: "Deeper now, where the water is not clear. What patterns do the numbers make? One plus one is not necessarily two. I do the sum and the answer is an incipient third."
current mood: rejuvenated
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